In the morning,
when the sun shows its head and the dew glows like gold,
I will love you,
In the daylight,
whether I am there or not, with body and mind
I will love you,
By the darkness,
where ghouls and demons run amok,
wherever my mind can carry me,
I will love you,
When you turn away,
when all hope is lost and twilight lingers,
I will find you,
I will love you,
When you are here,
when my hands caress yours and we smile and laugh,
I will love you,
When you murder,
and the world looks upon you as a monster,
I will love you,
When you resurrect a man,
and the world calls you savior,
I will love you, just the same,
When you do not love me,
I will know that you lie, but you are free,
and I will love you,
When you do not love yourself,
you must let my love for you pour into you,
for the more love given, the more there is to give,
and no matter what trials I must endure,
I will love you,
When you think I am angry,
remember my passion burns brighter still,
come to me, and I will love you,
When we disagree,
I will see that right and wrong are irrelevant next to love,
I will find the truth with you,
and if it be a matter of opinion, I will respect and love yours,
because I love you,
And when you love me,
my world is filled with joy and comfort,
hope and excitement linger on my breath,
and, as always,
I will love you,
I will love you.
-written October 23rd, 2008, in a facebook message.
I was out of Context.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
NEDAwareness week
This is National Eating Disorder Awareness week. Eating disorders are truly terrible and terrifying, are among the more complex both to understand and to treat in terms of psychological disorders, and are found in places you might not expect. Beyond being about food and its consequences, or even body image, they shape and all too frequently define people's actions, thoughts, social interactions, relationships... lives of otherwise good and happy people are consumed from the inside.
To everyone, please- take a look at this website-
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/programs-events/nedawareness-week.php
Liberation from dysfunction is a journey of discovery, and understanding yourself, and your self worth, is a constant and lifelong experience. To those suffering, please know that there are people who love you and believe in you, that help is never far, and that you are worth a great deal to those who care about you. Starting the journey is your choice, but once you are on it you never have to walk it truly alone.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Pain cannot be thought but it obliges us to think
"
What experience was worst for you?
What is the deepest loss that you have suffered?
If drinking is bitter, change yourself to wine.
In this immeasurable darkness, be the power
that rounds your senses in their magic ring,
the sense of their magic encounter.
And if the earthly no longer knows your name,
whisper to the silent earth: I'm flowing.
To the flashing water say: I am.
"
-Rilke, Sonnet to Orpheus
What experience was worst for you?
What is the deepest loss that you have suffered?
If drinking is bitter, change yourself to wine.
In this immeasurable darkness, be the power
that rounds your senses in their magic ring,
the sense of their magic encounter.
And if the earthly no longer knows your name,
whisper to the silent earth: I'm flowing.
To the flashing water say: I am.
"
-Rilke, Sonnet to Orpheus
Thursday, January 27, 2011
2 poems
These are drafts. I aim to improve.
-The Experiment-
I am a murderer
Once, I tried this experiment:
There had been a birthday party down the street,
there had been balloons, I had taken one,
I set the balloon in the ground with a stake
so that it floated maybe 3, 4 feet off the ground,
I chose the location carefully, the stake
lay in the center of a large ant colony.
I went inside and came back with a half gallon of juice
which I poured gently over the balloon,
down the line, and onto the ground.
Then, I waited.
It did not take long.
Ants, in droves, climbed the sweet line,
covered the small balloon.
I almost thought my plan would be ruined
there were so many, but I held out,
and when I thought no more would fit,
I dashed out and cut the line.
Later, when I told my father,
he did not jump for joy as I had,
but he was not angry.
He warned me, told me that without their queen
those worker ants would likely die.
Then he said something curious:
that people behave in much the same way,
that what truly makes life good, once you find it,
is not away on a balloon.
I heard, but I was young.
Father, we may start in one nest
but we live long and hard,
if we are carried far from ourselves, we learn.
What I understand now is
we have all taken such a balloon ride,
and though we always walk towards home
the winds will carry us onward,
'til we find it.
It is then I will remember,
then I will understand.
I am a murderer
- There is a Hole Inside Me -
-The Experiment-
I am a murderer
Once, I tried this experiment:
There had been a birthday party down the street,
there had been balloons, I had taken one,
I set the balloon in the ground with a stake
so that it floated maybe 3, 4 feet off the ground,
I chose the location carefully, the stake
lay in the center of a large ant colony.
I went inside and came back with a half gallon of juice
which I poured gently over the balloon,
down the line, and onto the ground.
Then, I waited.
It did not take long.
Ants, in droves, climbed the sweet line,
covered the small balloon.
I almost thought my plan would be ruined
there were so many, but I held out,
and when I thought no more would fit,
I dashed out and cut the line.
Later, when I told my father,
he did not jump for joy as I had,
but he was not angry.
He warned me, told me that without their queen
those worker ants would likely die.
Then he said something curious:
that people behave in much the same way,
that what truly makes life good, once you find it,
is not away on a balloon.
I heard, but I was young.
Father, we may start in one nest
but we live long and hard,
if we are carried far from ourselves, we learn.
What I understand now is
we have all taken such a balloon ride,
and though we always walk towards home
the winds will carry us onward,
'til we find it.
It is then I will remember,
then I will understand.
I am a murderer
- There is a Hole Inside Me -
if you could cut a line through me
as a knife circumscribes an orange,
split me, to peer into my depths,
lay out my halves to pry off the
skin and hungrily devour,
you would see the hole.
sticky with the juice and so
lost,
there is no somatic syntax for this,
hands run down through veins,
organs, memories, fire,
there is so much fire
in my life,
in my body,
in my heart,
snaking around which, the thorns
and brambles of my defenses,
your fingers have always known
the way through
the taste still on your lips
lingering, peering,
this is where you shall find it.
for love begins in loneliness, if fills
the very same.
for love knows the loneliness it meets,
it follows a familiar shape.
Look deep enough through your own skin,
and you know.
as a knife circumscribes an orange,
split me, to peer into my depths,
lay out my halves to pry off the
skin and hungrily devour,
you would see the hole.
sticky with the juice and so
lost,
there is no somatic syntax for this,
hands run down through veins,
organs, memories, fire,
there is so much fire
in my life,
in my body,
in my heart,
snaking around which, the thorns
and brambles of my defenses,
your fingers have always known
the way through
the taste still on your lips
lingering, peering,
this is where you shall find it.
for love begins in loneliness, if fills
the very same.
for love knows the loneliness it meets,
it follows a familiar shape.
Look deep enough through your own skin,
and you know.
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